The habits of a successful mentor
In celebration of National Mentoring Day, accredited coach and mentor David Eaton, CAMHS Service Manager at Blackpool Teaching Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust, shares his top tips for the first meeting between a mentor and mentee.
Mentoring can be hugely rewarding, helping to advance both a mentor’s career and that of their mentee. For those who are new to mentoring or want to get the best out of a mentoring relationship, David outlines ten habits of a successful mentor:
1. It’s a match. As a mentor, it’s important to know if you and your mentee are a good match. Use your first meeting with your mentee to get to know each other and get a sense of whether this is the right match for both of you.
2. Clear expectations. Mentors should have an open discussion about what can realistically be achieved during the time available. Understanding what the mentee wants from the relationship helps determine whether these goals can be worked on together.
3. Set goals but be flexible. Agreeing overall goals for the mentoring relationship, alongside specific objectives for each meeting, helps demonstrate progress. While having an agenda for each session is useful, it should not be too rigid. Space should be left for the mentee to share any concerns or issues that may have arisen since the previous meeting.
4. Focus on the positive outcomes. A mentee may be facing a specific challenge or feeling stuck. When discussing these issues, mentors should explore strengths and successes as well as areas for improvement. Conversations should focus on positive framing and building on what the mentee does well.
5. Remember to actively listen. Having someone to talk freely to is one of the greatest benefits of mentoring. Often, mentees already know how they want to move forward and simply need the opportunity to talk things through. Active listening helps ensure the mentee feels heard and is one of the most important aspects of the mentor’s role.
6. Remember your boundaries. Mentoring is not about being a counsellor or best friend. Mentors should not feel pressured to discuss topics they are uncomfortable with or not qualified to address. Instead, they should be prepared to signpost mentees to appropriate sources of additional support. This can be agreed through contracting at the start of the relationship.
7. Keep reviewing. Ahead of each meeting, mentors can ask mentees what they would like to discuss. Afterwards, encouraging feedback, learning points and actions can help maintain focus and momentum.
8. Avoid putting yourself in the role of expert. While mentors bring valuable expertise, they do not need to have the answer to every question or the solution to every problem. Mentoring is a collaborative relationship in which the mentee also brings expertise. Mentors can support progress by reflecting back what they hear, asking powerful questions and sharing relevant experiences appropriately.
9. Share resources. Useful books, events, websites and forums can all support a mentee’s development. Where appropriate, mentors may also be able to introduce mentees to colleagues and professional contacts who could be helpful.
10. Enjoy it! Being a mentor can provide valuable insight into one’s own work and challenges. Mentors can learn from their mentees, gain fresh perspectives and discover new approaches and ideas throughout the process.
NHS North West Leadership Academy Hub offers NHS mentors, mentees, coaches and coachees a platform to connect, match and continue their leadership journey.
Those considering becoming a mentor or mentee can find out more about our mentoring support and mentoring hub and book onto the next Mentor Development Programme to begin their journey.